Just a moment Dav, I'm pretty sure that number 3, 4 and 5 can be done easily, but I'm not sure about number 1 and 2, let me just check with my superiors, I'm going to demand a few things too, I can't handle this situation without an official title!
------------------
Worshipper of Tiax.
Wielder of the ancient Lawyer spells.
Member of the HADB clan.
Ally of the Fluffy Queen and the Dreaded Red Fluffy
General of the highest class and Leader of the Legal Department and Jumprope Compound in the IW Peacekeeping Force.
I've also got a pretty long sig.