[Reeka]

Well, I have always been a big proponent of our "on line community" but I have not been practicing what I preached. I am rather private about my private life; my closest friends know what is going on most of the time with me. I'm telling you all this now because I need your support and I am going to need your support. I also thought some of you may have noticed my absence from the forum and my absense from MSN chat. I don't want anyone to worry (being presumptious, aren't I) or think that I don't care about you anymore.

I'll have to give some background. I have a very rare autoimmunue disorder call "anti-phosolipid antibody syndrome." This disorder affects my blood; it hyper-coagulates. It causes blood clots, strokes, heart attacks. etc. I take blood-thinning medication daily to treat this condition; there is no cure. I have to have my blood checked regularly to make sure that it neither gets too thick or thin, This condition also effects anything other thing going on with me. Enough of the background.

May 6, I was admitted to hospital in extreme pain where if was discovered that I had a large tumor on my ovary. On May 7 I had surgery to remove the tumor and ovary. I was in recovery five weeks.

I went back to work and two weeks later was in pain again. My blood had gottwn too thin and I was bleeding into my remaning ovary. They cut my medication and it cleared up.

Then on July 2, I was admitted to hospital with breathing difficulties. They diagnosed me with pneumonia-like stuff (fluid in my lungs).They worked on clearing this up and continued to perform tests. The tests revealed a congenital heart defect----I have a messed up aortic valve. It has to be replaced. They released me from the hospital on Sunday after being in two weeks this time.I see the cardiologist this Tuesday and I guess we will decided when to do the open heart surgery.

And to top it all off I got fired from my job yesterday.

I am not posting this to say that I am back---I'm not. I just thought it was time I shared what has been going on. Am I at the lowest point of my life? If this isn't it, it is damn close. I need your support. Prayers. positive energy, good thoughts--------whatever you do, I need it. I'll try to keep you better informed in the future. Thanks, guy! I love you.