[Bungleau]

Hmmm... I've thought about this a bit this afternoon, Felix, and I'm not sure I've got a good answer for you. I speak to a lot of people in business settings, ranging from administrative folks up to company presidents and other C-level people (CFO, CEO, CIO, CMO, etc.). I don't have the added impact of having been in the military with them where they might have had a different rank, and hence a different position, than they do now.

My general feedback... I try to read the situation. If other people refer to "Mr. Green", I will refer to Mr. Green until he tells me otherwise.

If there are no visual clues, I tend to speak with folks on a first-name basis, as introduced. I do try to make certain how they'd like to be addressed -- I know two "Susans" (not Sue) and a Jeffrey (not Jeff) off the top of my head.

There's nothing wrong with asking them how they'd like to be addressed. It shows respect.

And speaking of that, the overall business environment seems to be much less formal than it used to (at least, as I recall). Years ago when I worked as a stock guy at KMart, all managers were Mr and Mrs. It was a way, I believe, to draw the line between staff and management. I don't see the same things happening as much any more, although there are certain exceptions.

Folks from other countries... I do my best to respect their traditions and expectations. I'm likely to be more formal.

Folks from the south tend to be more respectful than folks from other parts of the US. I don't know why... it just seems that way.

I'd try to find someone else who's been out for a while and get their feedback on how to handle things. I'd try to find someone who's been fairly successful, with no offense intended or implied. You just don't want to be asking someone with a chip on their shoulder how you should be behaving.

And another thought just crossed my mind... a friend of mine from Toastmasters who's still in the reserves talked about the challenges she had in both worlds... that the civilian world doesn't handle the "command and control" aspects of the military well, and that the military doesn't handle the "self-developing consensus building" of the civilian world real well. She ended up having two different styles of handling things, rather than be overbearing in civilian and weak in military.

I'm always open to a post or PM if there's anything else on your mind, Felix.