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ok, here we go, not the best, but not the worst.
1)A Sembian, a Cormyrean and a Dalesman are sitting in a bar, talking about
their wives. "I think she's cheating on me with a bard," says the Dalesman,
"I found a harp under our bed.". "My wife's cheating with a fighter, I found
a longsword under our bed!", replies the Cormyrean. "Yeah," says the
Sembian, "I think my wife is cheating on me with a horse." "With a horse?!"
the Cormyrean and the Dalesman shout. "Why do you think she's cheating on
you with a horse?" "Well," the Sembian replies, "I found a coachman under
our bed!"
2)A dwarf arrives back at home after a big adventure. As he sees his wife he
tells her: "I found thousands of goldpieces during my journeys, so pack your
bags, this has to be celebrated!!!". Filled with the joy his wife asks him
whether to dress up for cold or for warm weather. "Never mind!" the dwarf
shouts, "As long as you get the hell outta here!"
3)Little Thelarn comes back home after his first day of school, way too early.
"What are you doing home so early?" his mother asks. "I got kicked out of
class because the boy next to me was smoking.", Thelarn says. "What?," the
mother replies, "YOU got send out because the child NEXT to you was
smoking?" Thelarn: "Well yeah, I put him on fire."
lol, this one is a bit more adult...
4)Two dwarfs walk into a festhall in Waterdeep and pay money to the mistress to employ the services of two female prostitutes. Both dwarfs then go up the stairs to their rooms with their respective partners.
The first dwarf and his partner get onto the bed and start fooling around, but the dwarf suddenly realises that he can't, for some reason, get an erection. No matter what he does, or what the prostitute tries, he just can't get erect. What makes matters worse is that he can hear his friend next door screaming out every few seconds "ONE! TWO! THREE! UUGGGHHHH!!!!!!" This goes on all through the night.
Next morning, the two dwarfs meet on the landing on their way out. The dwarf who was screaming turns to his mate and says, "So? How was it?"
"Ye know, it was SO embarrassing. I just couldn't get an erection all night."
The other dwarf replied, "Hell, you think that's embarrassing. I couldn't even get onto the damn bed!"
Well there you go, you have probably heard other versions of these but oh well.
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