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Can't give you the specific viewpoint you're looking for, but as a child of divorced parents, one of the biggest things you can do is to avoid placing children between the two of you.
It took me until I was almost 19 to figure out that my best response to "Will you tell your father/mother..." was "No. That's between the two of you, and I don't want to get in the middle.
Children shouldn't have to choose between one parent or another, no matter how much evidence you may have as to how screwy, bizarre, and generally unfit for parenting the other person may be. Keep issues between you between you, and move on from there.
Now, that all being said, your best friend in this will be documentation. Document all that happens with schoolwork, homework, behaviors, incidents, and so on. If you walk into court with documented history from the past six months to a year, you have a definite step up on the competition, so to speak.
Good luck, in every sense of the word. Prayers to your children as well.
*B*
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