One thing that might help with the Lovely Lady J is :
q uicksave
check you quicksaved..(G)
kick j out of your party
she drops a big hint and asks you to confirm you're kicking her out..
You apologize, take her back in.
This doesn't restart a romance as far as I know but it's a good check -if she isn't interested/the romance really is off she just goes.
And if the romance is over you might want the chicks download. Worked for me! (And it seemed, tho can't say for sure, that the "romances" pick up where you left off rather than starting all over again, which is good for those low on tact/sycophancy...)
Also Jaheira doesn't speak for a long, long time at some points...
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