Quote:
Originally posted by 250:
several rules:
number 1: what I did before does not count, now matters
number 2: do what works, not what is right
well, I've been doing many right things in my life, and I am sick of it. now I want what works
two facts:
I want to be with her
I don't want to be treated like crap
I am not going to give up either one, any suggestions?
She's been ignoring me till now. Things are not going to get any better if I don't act. The problem is, to be treated properly doesn't neccessary require love. Respect is the key.
As long as there is respect, she will treat me well. I can wait and let love grow, as it does always take time.
What do I lose if I don't send her flowers?
She's testing my feelings, the longer I postpone, the more she will believe I don't care about her (yeah, rule number 1)
what do I lose if I send her flowers?
my self-respect? hardly, the point is to get her talk to me and in the mood to talk. that starts the first step of compromise. I have to give something in order to receive
what do I lose if I send her an accusing letter?
she is already in bad mood, because I SMOTHER her. probally she has NO IDEA I am pissed off because of she didn't show up on Saturday. she thinks I haven't sent her flower because I dont care about her, not because I am mad. this is the miscommunication part. if I tell her my true feelings now, the chances are, it will not fix anything. hardly tactful approach
what do I lose if I don't send her an accusing letter?
self-respect? no. I play patience to win. I hate to say this as a game, but she sets the rules, and I am here to exploit it. why cannot people just love and understand each other? grow up, Leo, now it is time to do what works and hold your emotions in check
Why do I prefer to stay with her?
because just feel happy when I am with her
What needs to change?
teach her to respect
now my ONLY question remains, how do I teach someone to respect me?
self-respect is my answer
so how do I make this thing work? I am still thinking
any suggestion would be welcome
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Two Fitty, its me again. Hi!!
You have so many profound questions. I cannot answer all of them. I know that you feel happy when you are with her. I can understand that completely. That is your perception right now. Things will change and how you perceive them will too.
I speak from a bit of experience in saying that she is not your world. You are your own person. You are an intelligent young fellow who is expending an huge amount of energy trying to get her to be your girlfriend.
Here is my opinion, and you can glean the things you like from the things you don't like:
If you want to give flowers, don't give it a second thought. Just do it.
If you need her to understand something, then go ahead and type it out first so you can edit it and it sounds logical. Then get the gist of what it is that you are trying to get her to understand. Then, its time for you to sit her down and let her know that once and for all, this is how you feel.
I'm not saying that you should read a speech to her, but it does seem necessary that she should understand what you feel.
Never, ever demand that she respect you. If she were patient and understanding, then she would know you and respect you. I think that you need her to recognize you as the one who loves and worships her.
You can encourage her, compliment her, and teach her about your role in the relationship, but the self respect is up to her. Its the same way I cannot teach you how to respect yourself.
Okay, I'll close this up now. If I've been helpful, then great. If this was nonsense to you, then you could just say that I was typing it up while intoxicated.
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