[Scronan]

Hi Everyone,

First off, Garnet, I really enjoyed your post. I think most people know I am a male, but it was very interesting to read your post, as for me being a somewhat quiet and shy male, my experiences growing up were similar to yours.

I grew up in a household with 3 brothers and one sister, and for some reason I tended to be looked at a "pseudo daughter" to help my mother who was the traditional housewife. So, yes I will say I spent a lot of time in the kitchen and learned to cook, as well as helping to raise my two infant brothers more so than my other older siblings.

Well, I never wore a dress or anything, but I can say without a doubt how very THANKFUL I am for everything I learned while doing this. The whole myth about "a womans place is in the kitchen" is such a load of crap! I realize this sterotype comes from our older male dominant culture, but I do not think that women or men are any better at cooking. This is a skill that requires practice, like anything else. I'm a pretty good cook and always get compliments at dinner parties for the dishes I bring. Another oddity there, am I wrong or are most of the top chefs in the world usually men? Again, the irony shows through here.

But while I was learning these skills, I also spent an equal amount of time chopping wood, doing car work and the other more typically "male" things with my father.

Today I can say with confidence that although I am very masculine, I have a very well developed sensitive side. And the funny part here is, not only does this intimidate other guys, a lot women don't know how to handle it either!

I have found it so strange in my experiences with dating how many women still want to have these sterotypical "breadwinner" types of men but still talk about this imaginary man who will share his feelings, be sensitive and look for a balanced partnership in his romantic life, not a house slave to do his laundry and cook meals.

However, when confronted with a more balanced male (like myself), they don't know what the hell to do. I always remember one woman in college who I just fell head over heels in love with. She had told me of her abusive father growing up, and used to date the biggest jerks who didnt respect her (hmm, see a trend here?). Being a little less experienced than I am now, I tried to show her that I wasn't like that, however she passed me by and continued to date guys who were jerks.

I realized later that I couldn't help her find out what she needed, she had to help herself. It was sad to see such a beautiful and talented person allow themselves to be mistreated, but that was her road to self discovery, and we can only teach ourselves that.

Yikes, I'm on the soapbox here, but my main point is, just be YOURSELF. Garnet, Galadria, thank you for sharing and I greatly admire that you have chosen to be different, as I have.

I knew there were a few more of us out there. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Best

Scronan