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Old 06-11-2002, 12:22 AM   #3
Azred
Drow Priestess
 

Join Date: March 13, 2001
Location: a hidden sanctorum high above the metroplex
Age: 54
Posts: 4,037
You might try accentuating how the faces in the crowd are both familiar and not; something like "faces in the crowd/strangely familiar and familiarly strange" or something like that, taking advantage of the turn-around of the two words.
Also, you state that playing the saxophone brings cheers and applause, but what does it really bring you on a personal level? It never hurts to let the reader know where you go emotionally when you play, or how it feels when you play for others.
Finally, I would find somewhere else from which to have rythyms originate than "nowhere"; from your soul, perhaps.

For 10 minutes, not bad at all. [img]graemlins/awesomework.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/petard.gif[/img]
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