and everyone else on the board. I also want to take responsibility for the controversy that has been stirred up. Lady Rae was doing a favor for me and as such I am at the root of the issue, and at the root of this controversy. If there is to be any additional blame levied at anyone, I wish it would be levied at me. I do not intend to try to defend myself, because the bottom line is that people have been angered, hurt, and offended, and that in itself renders my actions undefensible. I would like to say that all of my actions have been motivated by good intentions. I am a compassionate and caring person, and I know at least some of you view me the same way because you have told me as much personally. I would never do anything intentional to hurt anyone on this board, I would much rather be hurt myself.There are, however, three points that I would like to make that could perhaps in the future stop this kind of thing from happening again.
First, I would, if I became offended or angered by someone's post, go to that person privately by e-mail (I believe most of us have e-mail addresses posted) and in a non-confrontational manner say, "I believe I may have misunderstood your post. Could you please clarify or explain to me what your point is?" I think that could stave off controversary and hurt feelings. It is true that not being able to see people has definite disadvantages. You cannot evaluate a person's tone of voice or demeanor when they say something.
Second, I have found some topics to be of absolutely no interest to me or even offensive. If after reading the first few posts, if I am offended, I can chose to leave that post and read no more. This is a free and open board and no one forces us to read anything. There are some topics that I steer clear of--politics for example. But I do not expect peole to not talk about these things. I can police myself on what I am comfortable reading or not.
Third, with the exception of a few very close friends I have made here, none of you know anything about me. And, by the same token, I really know nothing about the majority of you. Therefore, I do not feel that I am qualified to make a moral judgement about anyone on the board--I lack enough information to do so. I do not know what kind of lives you live, your work situation, family, home, personal relationship--I know none of that. I hear and see things that go against my own moral code, however, I do not know that person or their circumstances and therefore, do not feel that I can make that call. When I was a little girl, I would come home from school and complain to my mother about the "bad kids." You know, the ones who never minded the teacher, who disrupted class, always getting into trouble. My mother would say to me, "Well, you never know what that child has had to go through from the time they left school until they get back the next morning." Those words have stayed with me all my life. I strive daily to not be critical or judgemental because until I have "walked a mile" in that person's shoes, I do not know.
Again, my sincerest and heart-felt apologies to everyone. I hope that you all will graciously accept itmy apology.
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Reeka--The Hand of Death O_H_F
Lady in Waiting (found what I was waiting for)
Official Party Planner and Events Coordinator of the Moon's Hope Inn
Proud Member of the Ladies Guild
GMDLM
