Quote:
Originally posted by Lady Sedai:
coyote: Don't worry, you won't be stoned to death. 
I wasn't trying to say that women don't *ever* instigate domestic abuse nor that women aren't in the majority when it comes to child abuse.
But I don't hold that women are in the *majority* when it comes to domestic abuse. Yes, maybe both side *argue*, but when it comes to physcial violence I don't believe the women are in the majority of instigating physical altercations.
I've been there. Twice. An argument may ensue, but I never started physical encounters. Nor did my Mother although she was physically abused by my Father for 30+ years (so was I, but for me it was about 16 or so of those years).
Now, perhaps in a neighborhood with a higher instance of drug/alcohol abuse, women are just as likely. But to me, that stems more from the narcotics than from "the nature of the beast".
Just my opinion from *my* experiences, mind you. That's why I was telling Thoran I could easily refute his statements and wondering if it was opinion, an area of study or some work or personal experience leading him to his statements. It's been *more* than just my personal experience, though. I've also know MANY women who have been the victims - not the aggressors. That's also why I wonder if it's more "locality", too.
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LS I also was not at all trying to imply that women were more agressive than men. What I am saying is that women can be and are the agressors in spousal abuse a significant percentage of the time. Women can be and are the agressors in child abuse the majority of the time. Yet we live in a country where Domestic Violence is seen as a male problem. I don't want all the womans shelters to close, I want them to provide services to the abused men out there too. I don't want the laws to stop protecting women, I want them to protect men equally. I just want DV to be looked at as the complex problem it really is... a problem that can see any member of the family as the agressor... or all of them.
To be totally clear, my opinions are based on my review of the research available... I have two boys who are growing up in a world that automatically assumes them to be the agressor, and one has already been assaulted by a girl at school. There's nothing I won't do for them, and I think ANYONE out there who's the parent of a young man should do the same research I did, learn the truth for yourself.