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1. Refuses to clean up his cave
2. Ululates in shower
3. Science fair project involves plastique.
4. Spends all afternoon phoning in requests to Total Jihad Live on al-Jazeera
5. When you tell him to go fly a kite, he tells you its sinful
6. Insists on getting his allowance by way of hawala
7. ipod loaded with Cat Stevens songs
8. Refers to siblings as "those infidels"
9. Insists on sleeping in a new room every night
10. Is awfully fond of that ZZ Top look
11. Voted "Homecoming Mullah" of his senior class
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