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Azred · 06-04-2002, 12:47 AM

I was in what amounted to an "open" relationship some years ago. The psychology is quite fascinating, actually.
I'll be fair to her. This girl, we'll call her Thalena (her gaming name), is intelligent, charming, and a well-trained mezzo-soprano, as well as having a knowledge of several other subjects. She would make an excellent social wife and/or hostess.
However, she had acceptance issues with her parents and thus had been in less-than-perfect relationships. What she wanted was the freedom to pursue someone else as a fling and be able to walk back into a fully accepting household where all is forgiven.

That is the essence of those wanting an "open" relationship--to have maximum relationship benefits with the minimum input of the intimate closeness that helps bond a relationship together. "Open" means that, despite any transgression, all will be forgiven. In one sense this kind of person is child-like, which places the other person in a "parental" role, which finally results in fear of being controlled in the person who wants "openness", which results in more "acting-out" behavior, ad infinitum. A cycle of behavior, akin to codependence.

If you see this type of behavior, my advice is to walk away or give them the number of a good relationship/personal counselor.

06-04-2002, 12:47 AM	#7
Azred Drow Priestess Join Date: March 13, 2001 Location: a hidden sanctorum high above the metroplex Age: 54 Posts: 4,037	I was in what amounted to an "open" relationship some years ago. The psychology is quite fascinating, actually. I'll be fair to her. This girl, we'll call her Thalena (her gaming name), is intelligent, charming, and a well-trained mezzo-soprano, as well as having a knowledge of several other subjects. She would make an excellent social wife and/or hostess. However, she had acceptance issues with her parents and thus had been in less-than-perfect relationships. What she wanted was the freedom to pursue someone else as a fling and be able to walk back into a fully accepting household where all is forgiven. That is the essence of those wanting an "open" relationship--to have maximum relationship benefits with the minimum input of the intimate closeness that helps bond a relationship together. "Open" means that, despite any transgression, all will be forgiven. In one sense this kind of person is child-like, which places the other person in a "parental" role, which finally results in fear of being controlled in the person who wants "openness", which results in more "acting-out" behavior, ad infinitum. A cycle of behavior, akin to codependence. If you see this type of behavior, my advice is to walk away or give them the number of a good relationship/personal counselor. __________________ Everything may be explained by a conspiracy theory. All conspiracy theories are true. No matter how thinly you slice it, it's still bologna.