100 things you NEED to know about Chuck Norris...
* Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
* Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
* Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
* Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
* On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
* Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
* When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
* Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
* Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
* Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
* A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
You know we should have a 'Chuck Norris' day
