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If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
It would payed for by whatever money you had left when you died.
Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
No.
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
If someone dies they defecate because of loss of muscle control anyway, so yes.
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
I don't imagine much sunlight gets up there anyway.
Do stairs go up or down?
No. They don't move. The person on them goes up or down.
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
I don't suppose any would bother to check, even if they did.
Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
Theoretically yes, but I've never tried.
Are marbles made of marble?
No.
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
In honour of the inventor of the radio.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
A calf, presumably.
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
I don't know. You?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
No.
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Eugenics.
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures??
It's 'poly', not 'poli', and Greek, not Latin.
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Maybe it is decended from something which had its seeds in the middle. Same reason people have apendixes.
Do they have girl?s bathrooms in gay bars?
Yes, for lesbians.
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
Yes.
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A stitch in time is worth two in the bush.
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