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I know it sounds totally stupid, Stormy, but if I were you I would try to be honest and explain it in terms of what they have seen. Maybe relate it to a childrens story that has "death" in it (ie, bambi's mother dying... at least... i think she did from what I can remember). Tell them that Grandma isn't going to be around anymore... but its not because of something they did or didnt do.
Don't lie. Even at this age, kids can remember (even if subconciously) things like this. I'd rather be allowed to go to my nans funeral rather than be held back because I was too young.
But then again, this is just all my opinion. Do what feels right hun.
:hugs:
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