Quote:
Originally posted by Stormymystic:
I am going to step in here as one from that side. although he was not my spouse... I have been in a relationship where it was abusive, it is not so easy to LEAVE as you put it... I left, he found me, I left again, he found me, it is an endless circle of abuse. and there is also something I have not seen mentioned (not really looked hard) but there is the times that the guy has some hold over the woman. things like he knows where your family lives, and has threatend to kill them? or a child, that he threatens to kill? how much of a choice does the woman have then? if her family or friends are hurt because of her, how do you expect her to cope with that? and when in certain situations where there is no ready help available, what then? as for the children, I agree, the children have no options, but most child abuse starts with spouse abuse. if you want to end all abuse, stop teaching boys it is not ok to show emotions! boys who are taught to hide emotions let them build up until they break.
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As I said Stormy, NOBODY deserves to be abused, but just because men are afraid to step forward does not mean some of them aren't suffering the same as the woman you refer to. The difference is that the woman in your example has options, she can go to the cops and not get laughed at, she can take her children and go to a shelter (where the abusive male can't find her, my mother worked at one and they are a great tool to allow women to escape violent relationships). When she does run, she can take her children with her without prompting an Amber Alert.
A man in the same situation is entirely at the mercy of the abusive woman. She can call the cops and have HIM arrested, she can threaten to take his kids, if he runs with the kids he's more likely than not going to be arrested for abduction, there are almost no shelters he can turn to, almost no support groups for him. The abused man in this country is a laughing stock, or worse yet other men and women will say "he probably deserved it". If you don't think this happens then just watch prime-time TV and see who's getting punched, kicked and assaulted regularly by the opposite sex.
I disagree that child abuse results from spousal abuse, they're two symptoms of the same problem though I'll give you that... the're both the result of an abusive person, often coupled with drug or alcohol abuse. I tend to think that children are more often abused by mothers because mothers tend to spend more time with their children, but that's no excuse (I also have no DATA to support that, just a logical conclusion but it could very well be wrong).