But it's true, guv'nor! I saw 'em meself, I did! Great big monkeys, clanking and banging around in the dungeons of Skull Castle, down where they gots all them pully chain things and the floors that come up and come down. Instead o' bein' patient and puttin' up all the floors, and instead o' tryin' ter jump from floor ter floor, they was swingin' on the chains like monkeys! Didn't hardly touch their feet down, they did, and they roamed about as pretty as you please.
An' it's a sight that'll haunt me until the day I die, sir... one o' them huge oompa woompa fellers, swingin' about... why, imagine if he'd fallen on me, sir! I'd o' been smashed like yesterday's pork sausage, I would!
What? No, sir, I wasn't drinkin'. You can ask the sods at the tavern... bloody mucks wouldna spare me a drink, since I was light in the coin. I ain't had nothin' since... since... since the last time I drank. Only it wasn't tonight, sir... honest!
*for the reader's digest version, I noticed last night that you can climb the chains holding up the platforms in the Skull Castle dungeons, eliminating the need to jump from platform to platform. I couldn't make it over two openings... only one at a time. But no jumping
