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I noticed you were trying to have some of the quests on page six revolve around human cities and realms. I know that every generation or so a couple of humans enter the halfworld to save it from the Upholder, and there may be a settlement filled with those humans who couldn't get home, but how come there's an entire realm? If it was there from the start, the inhabitants will certainly have changed differently from modern day humans, seeing as there is a different environment and all.
In any case, here are two more bits you could add to your storyline:
Obviously, none of the humans which were drawn to the Halfworld in order to save it have returned, except maybe for one or two for whom the return travel was too much and made them crazy. This is why noone has ever heard or believed in the existence of the Halfworld. It also means that your character will have some difficult choices after defeating the Upholder, like
wether or not to risk losing life or mind when trying to return, taking others back with you (like a Halfworld dog, or the other surviving adventurers), wether to go home right away or to continue questing for a safer exit and so on. This means that the game can continue after the Upholder is defeated and that it is eventually up to the player to decide what to do with the lives of his character and the other party members. (It may not be wise to return to earth in the end, because if the story gets out, humans will try to contact the Halfworld from earth, and eventually might send an invasion army there. Or a dark evil slips through after the player and corrupts the earth...)
And the second thing I've been thinking about is this:
Why is it that the Upholder has been defeated every single time? Is it fate, is the Upholder slow to learn or is there someone else who wants to play some cruel tricks on earthlings, letting them fight a hard battle even tough they will win anyway, and then keeping them trapped on the Halfworld?
So, together they would make for an extra bit of story in which your character has to find out who brought him there and why, as well as wether or not slaying that person will allow the humans to return to earth. You could get a new main enemy, but he/she may be the only person capable of opening the portal from the Halfworld.
Any ideas or improvements on this?
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The last arrow of Legolas kindled in the air as it flew,
and plunged burning into the heart of a great wolf-chieftain.
All the others fled. -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
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