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Nose Picking Glossary
THE KIDDIE PICK: When you're by yourself and you uninhibitedly twist your forefinger into your nostril with childlike joy and freedom. And the best part is, there's no time limit!
CAMOUFLAGED KIDDIE PICK: When, in the presence of other people, you wrap your forefinger in a tissue, then thrust it in deep and hold back the smile.
FAKE NOSE SCRATCH: When you make believe you've got an itch but you're really trolling the nostril edge for stray boogers.
MAKING A MEAL OUT OF IT: You do it so furiously, and for so long, you're probably entitled to dessert.
SURPRISE PICKINGS: When a sneeze or laugh causes snot to come hurtling out of your nose, and you have to gracefully clean it off your shirt.
AUTO PICK: The kind you do in a car, when no one's looking.
PICK YOUR BRAINS: Done in private, this is the one where your finger goes in so far, it passes the septum.
PICK AND SAVE: When you have to pick it quickly, just when someone looks away, and then you pocket the snot so they don't catch on to what you did.
PICK AND ROLL: No explanation needed.
PICK AND FLICK: Ditto.
PICK AND STICK: You wanted it to be a "Pick and Flick," but it stubbornly clings to your fingertip.
PAY DIRT: The kind where you remove a piece of snot so big, it improves your breathing by 90%
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53.7% of all statistics are made up
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