[Epona]

Hi Shaide's brother!

I like the imagery you use, but your language needs a little brushing up. Other than that it's basically a good poem. I will try to help, I have made some suggestions and comments in bold text below.

Originally posted by Shaide: "where the night never falls down, the moonlight is the way, In the depth shadow of my mind, I always meet with her, Wish I wait you all time, this sentence doesn't make sense, try to find another way of putting it because my hope would be the death, where the night never falls down, I always meet with her, Her eyes will be my light, Her mouth, The hidden treasure of mine, what would be the heaven In my head ever shines Say goodbye to the stars who envy your sheen in the depth shadow of my mind your soul, the gloom cleans Where the tears fill the oceans the moonlight is the way, I will be looking for in the thin line between myself" not sure about the last two lines, I'm not sure what you are trying to say and it doesn't really make sense in English - try to rephrase it

I hope you find my suggestions helpful. [img]smile.gif[/img]