Ironworks Gaming Forum - View Single Post - Invisilble Letter........be ready to cry.........

/)eathKiller · 05-13-2003, 12:04 AM

As nice a story as it is, I can't help but feel like it, like other stories, is too inspired. You needed to put some more suffering in with the mom at the begining so we understand just how much pains been done to her, and a little more pain with her husband leaving her or something might make it even better. Just a little constructive criticism...

05-13-2003, 12:04 AM	#3
/)eathKiller Dracolisk Join Date: January 5, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Age: 40 Posts: 6,043	As nice a story as it is, I can't help but feel like it, like other stories, is too inspired. You needed to put some more suffering in with the mom at the begining so we understand just how much pains been done to her, and a little more pain with her husband leaving her or something might make it even better. Just a little constructive criticism... __________________ [img]\"http://membres.lycos.fr/th8or/ZeroSigForIronworks.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o;