[pcgiant]

The real origin of the phrase 'grasping at straws'

Nick Burson was a simple man. A simple man, indeed, but a happy man. He liked nothing better than to drive his tractor by day and watch the stars by night. Now, the day of the event that would change Nick's life forever began like any other. Nick woke up with the birds (due to the rather irritating nest of bluejays living in his attic) with a smile on his face. "Another day to cherish the beauty of nature", he said to himself. He leapt out of bed, dressed himself, and went out to his tractor, without even a piece of toast for breakfast. "'lo, Betty", he said to his tractor, calling her by his pet name for her. "Where shall we go today?". Now the sad thing about Betty was that she couldn't talk. It broke Nick's heart to see his tractor and, more than that, his friend, sitting in her shed faithfully all night long with nobody to talk to. Of course, we must remember that Nick didn't have a clue about Betty's inability to speak, he merely assumed that she was shy. Such is the life of one who is simple.

Nick didn't know any other tractors to keep Betty company, because this was during the 1950's and at that time tractors were classified as an endangered species. He decided he'd have to improvise. Now Nick had always been quite good at making scarecrows (graduating in Scarecrow making 101 from Seattle University of Extremely Specialised and Useless Jobs, with Honours) so he got the idea to make a scarecrow. So he made one, and put it out in his field. Then, he got an even BETTER idea, and made another scarecrow to put in Betty's shed to keep her company. He propped the scarecrow, who he had decided to call Goose, next to Betty and went outside to watch the stars (it was dark by this stage, after all, it takes a while to make scarecrows!) He had been out for well over an hour when he heard a strange noise coming from Betty's shed. He waited a moment, and when he was sure it was his imagination, began to watch the stars once more. Then again, he heard the noise. It sounded like a struggle was taking place within Betty's shed! Nick was never one for fighting, but he would take a bullet for Betty. He got up and rushed to the shed.

Inside, Nick was greeted with a horrific sight. Goose, his scarecrow, had his hands wrapped around Betty's exhaust pipe, trying to strangle her to an untimely death. Betty was fighting as best she could, but was running out of fuel. It was up to NICK to save the day! He leapt to action, grabbing Goose and trying to wretch his grasp from Betty. Goose held hard. Our hero went into something of a frenzy, and began tearing at the straw which allowed Goose to keep ahold of Betty. Finally, he managed to make Goose lose enough straw to slow him down. Sensing his chance, Nick quickly reached into his pocket for his hedge clippers, and cut off Goose's head. The horror was over and Betty was safe. It was only then that Nick stopped to consider why Goose had come to life... and then he realised that he had used VOODOO straw when making Goose, instead of regular straw. This realisation was overrode by the fact that he was a hero and had saved Betty, his one true love. Such was his joy that he didn't notice the OTHER scarecrow looming up behind him... but Betty did. With a cry of "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Betty dived in front of Nick, into the path of the scarecrow's pitchfork. The pitchfork stabbed into her fuel canister, and she feel dead on the ground. After a long fight, with lots of 'Matrix style' action, Nick vanquished the scarecrow. He fell to the floor, gasping and crying, and grasped at the scarecrow's straw, hoping that somehow he could bring Betty back. Of course, Betty had taken a fatal hit, and nothing he could do would bring her back. The next day, when the meter reader came, he found Nick lying upon the floor, dead, with a few pieces of straw in his hand.

And that's where the saying came from!
Boy, that story just went on and on, didn't it? [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Cheers, pcgiant