[John D Harris]

*This is freely inspired from the Johnboy & Billy Big Show*

You are walking down the street at night and see a man quickly coming towards you with a knife in his hand demanding you give him your valubles, you have a gun in your hand.

Liberal response: You wonder what goverment program failed this man, as he rips the gun from your hand, you ponder if any resistance would warp this man's pshyci. BANG BANG two bullets slam into your body, you blame conservatives for not wanting to pay higher taxes so there would be a cop on every corner.

Conservative response: BANG BANG two shots center mass like you Father taught you.

Hollywood liberal response: BANG BANG BANG BANG 1st shot center mass like the consultant in your last action movie said he would do. 2nd shot into up shoulder of man, because of gun recoil. 3rd & 4th shots in the air because of the gun recoil.

Southern Conservative response: BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG all shots center mass like your Granpa taught you. You slap in another clip BANG BANG two shots tho the back of the head like your uncle a Delta force member taught you.

After the incident

Liberal response: You crawl as far as you can and wait for sombody to call the cops and an ambulance.

Conservative response: You call the cops and wait for them.

Hollywood liberal response: you call your publisist, theripist, and Lawyer. When all three get there you leave with the publisist, and theripist your lawyer calls the cops and says you will turn yourself in tommorrow sometime after your press conference.

Southern conservative response: You Kick the muggers body twice in the ribs for being a dumb SOB and bringing a knife to a gun fight. Light a cigarette, then kick the bumb SOB again for making you miss opening day of deer hunting season tommorrow. Call the cops and wait for them, when they arrive and ask how come to shot him so many times you reply because his foot was still moving, then offer to save the tax payers some money, and the cops some paper work. If you can just load the body into the back of your pick-up and bury it somewhere in the woods.

The next day
Liberal response: stare at the ceiling of your hospital room.

Conservative response: You hug your wife and children happy to be alive and with them.

Hollywood liberal response: Appear at your press conference in dark glasses, your publisist takes all the questions. When asked by the LA times reporter about your past stance against gun ownership, the reply is you are against gun ownership for the little people, you know those people that drive pick-ups, but for important people who could be targets of crime they should have their 2nd admendment rights. When asked by the Fox News reporter to clearify what you mean by the little people, the reply is Fox News is a right wing propagnist and you don't need to talk to anyone that called you unamerican because you think some people shouldn't have guns.

Southern conservative response:You pray that God shows mercy to the soul of the mugger. Then watch NASCAR.

[ 03-08-2003, 03:44 PM: Message edited by: John D Harris ]