Just found out the the secretary I've worked with since 1989 has had a heart attack. And there are also other complications apparently, internal bleeding, kidney problems, and something called a "hematoma" on her back that is very painful and she is being heavily sedated. She is probably about 78. I've worked with her, sat in the same room, just the two of us, since 1989. She retired last week of November, all seemed well, she was planning on selling her townhouse in Springfield in April and moving to her other house in North Carolina, where she has all her family. I hope she is OK. But when her daughter called she said the words "touch and go" which worries me.
Which brings me to this topic. I really HATE death. I've been blessed in the fact that there have been only a small few who were friends or family that have died on me, I know so many others who have experienced way more deaths in thier family (and friends) than I have. I really am not familiar with death. And it seems for me when I do have to deal with it, as rare as it is, it is always somebody special or close to me (like my Grandmother, the only family member who truly cared about me, she really loved me, why I dunno, but she most certainly did). It is just devastating not having them around anymore. Knowing that it isn't just a vacation, it is forever, you will not ever see them again. You feel so out there, with no anchor like you had. And death is not something you can really foresee, even if it is from a person who was previosly ill, you find yourself just considering your Favorite people invincible, and will always be there, existing, for you.
On another note, I'm glad that I believe in God, and Jesus, and know that those that have died, or will die, will go to a better place. So many are better people than I am, and I know they continue to exist, but that does not take away my grief, because they are not in my life anymore. And I always think, I hope I don't die soon, cause I am soo far from learning whatever it is I'm here to learn, I suck so bad. I don't want to die until I've become a better person.
I know many here have different religious beliefs, and some NO religious beliefs, and I respect your personal choices, so please respect mine and don't flame my thread OK? [img]smile.gif[/img]
I just tonight am thinking of death, and what happens when you die, and want to see others, no matter what you believe, state your own thoughts re the subject (and yes I realize that maybe this subject has already been done here in the past)