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WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I
noticed a remote control for a television set in her
purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping
with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could
do to him."
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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never
understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto
your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be
afraid of a spider.
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SECTIONAL, SCHMECTIONAL
An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was
greeted by a much younger salesman. "Is there something in
particular I can show you?" he asked. "Yes, I want to buy a
sexual sofa." "You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested.
"Sectional, schmectional," she bitterly retorted. "All I want
is an occasional piece in the living room!"
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HEY! WAIT A MINUTE...
I said to my wife, "Guess what I heard in the pub? They
reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our road
except one."
And she said, "I'll bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis at number
23."
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DIFFERENT IDEAS
A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make
you the happiest woman in the world!"
The woman says, dryly, "I'll miss you."
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NO CABBAGE FOR YOU
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing
one another for some time. After inquiring about each
other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing.
"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up
a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down
dead, right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you
do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead!"
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Crustiest of the OLD COOTS "Donating mirrors for years to help the Liberal/Socialist find their collective rear-ends, because both hands doesn't seem to be working.
Veitnam 61-65:KIA 1864
66:KIA 5008
67:KIA 9378
68:KIA 14594
69:KIA 9414
70:KIA 4221
71:KIA 1380
72:KIA 300
Afghanistan2001-2008 KIA 585
2009-2012 KIA 1465 and counting
Davros 1
Much abliged Massachusetts
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