[John D Harris]

Two Martain scouts land in the desert, the only thing around is an old gas station with one old gas pump. The Martains walk up to the pump thinking it is an Earthling and say "Take us to your leader".
The gas pump doesn't say anything, so the Martains pull out their ray-gun and repeat "Take us to your LEADER".
The gas pump stil doesn't say anything.
The Martains shoot the gas pump, it blows up and sends the Martains flying. The Martains get up and dust themselves off and return to Mars, go directly to the comanding general to deliver their report about invading Earth. They tell the general that Mars can't take the Earthlings over using military force because they blow up when shot.
The General askes "Can the Earthlings can be taken over using mind control"?
"No" reply the scouts "Eathlings are dumb as rocks".
I know says the General "We'll take them over sexually"
The Scouts answer "NO WAY he had IT wrapped around him twice and stuck in one ear"!