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In the U.S., your HR has made an illegal call. Is it so different in Aussie-land? It is illegal for a company to tell a person who they are allowed to socialize with. They cannot do it.
You would never believe me in a hundred years, but I totally relate to you! I work at a Mortgage Insurance Co. I am the mail room guy. Almost everyone are women. They love me! I am married with a kid, and they all know this. They also know that I have a big appetite! Women buy my breakfast, invite me to lunch, tell me their husbands should be more like me, and for me to teach them to be real men. Some girls always have candy hidden in their desks just for me. Some e-mail me and call me to tell me jokes or stories that they think I will enjoy. One lady is always eager to hear me talk about this forum, in particluar, the role-play forum where I tell her about games that we are running. Today, I gave a Victora's Secret (lingerie mag) to a lady that I know would like to have it, and there was no shame at all. She was happy I brought it to her.
What nobody will ever tell me is that I cannot associate with other people. As long as I am not accused of sexual harrassment, I can do anything I want to, as long as my job gets done and I am not distracting from others. I say you tell Rachael that you want to file a complaint with the top, and want to get her permission and consent to do so. If it was me, I would do it in written form, and have my wife send a separate letter stating that she was aware of my activities at work, and that she saw no ill-intent in my having female friends. I would also request a person to person interview, stating that your work has been greatly hindered by this proposterous make-believe rule that has no foundation nor exists in the company handbook, and that you demand an apology be given to both parties involved. If that was not answered the way that you think right, I would tell them that you no longer desire to work under such evil employers.
If possible, I will try to find legal proof to back my claim about the illegality of what HR did to you.
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