Quote:
Originally posted by Albromor:
Perfectionism is rooted in low self-esteem. Both the psychodynamic and cognitive-behavioral schools of therapy show that at their psychic core perfectionists are guilt ridden, guilt driven. Here is the thing: Perfectionists cannot fail for failure cuts to their wounded core. Failure brings forth deep guilt. To combat and guard against failure the perfectionist will strive to see that they do not fail by rigid control of their environment. In other words, if they can control their environment they will not fail.
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I'd challenge that assertion for creators of art, architecture and houses. Attention to detail, not having walls and a roof fall down is kind of important.
It also denys the positive impetus of love cand care.
I mean look at the opposite. Songs half finished because the writer doesn't care about his work? A house shoddily built? I think those studies ignore a vast section of those leaning towards perfectionism.
It's about balance and discernment. Controlling what you can, and letting go of what you cannot.
Like driving. You have to be in control of the car or you crash. It's not simply enough to not be attentive about everything. Yet you need to let go of the idea that you can control another person within a relationship, or the relationship will crash.
[ 10-31-2002, 02:44 PM: Message edited by: Yorick ]