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What you have in stalkers are people with obsessive need for reinforcement because on a psychological level they are "empty" inside looking for mirroring from the objects in their environment to give love, reassurrance, acceptance, and the deep need to belong -- which we all have a need for. Somewhere though there is lacking intrapsychically a personal identity and thus a stalker must go outside of oneself to gain identity. Basically what I am trying to convey is that these people are deeply, deeply wounded which their behavior demonstrates because anyone who has a healthy, intact identity does not need to engage in stalking behavior. Here is the real dilemma for the stalker: by the very behavior they engage in to fill their need it is conversely the very behavior that drives away their object of choice. Thus their life becomes obsessed with gaining this object and healthy boundaries are almost non-exsistant. In extreme cases such rejection turns to frustration and then anger and then I'd seriously watch my back. Here is another problem in this whole mix. Because a stalker is so deeply wounded they cannot look inward at their pain. It is too much to handle. That is why repeated ignorings, warnings, shunnings don't work because if they stop and ponder the rejection then they must look inward -- and the pain is just too great. What you have then are people in great psychological pain, most likely boarderline, who want to desperately relate on a healthy human level but truly lack interpersonal skills that most of us take for granted. Basically when you see a stalker in action you are seeing pain in motion, in speech, in behavior, and in attitude. They hurt so much. Two big questions for them are: "Who am I?" and "Where do I fit in and how?" They are haunted by their emptiness.
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