Quote:
Originally posted by The Trickster:
For example, how do we raise our children when the time comes? Obviously, there is going to have to be a lot of compromising, but to what extent? When my little girl or boy says to me "Daddy, why don't you go to Church?", or "Daddy, does God exist?", what am I going to say? Surely I can't tell them the opposite to what their mother has told them, as they will be extremely confused kids. Do I lie to them?
Do I want my kids to go to a Christian school and have Jesus shoved in their face every day? Not at all!!! But can I tell my wife that they will not? No!
Further to all this, as Alison gets more and more involved in Christianity, she's going to feel less and less close to me as a human being. This scares me a lot! I'm not going to go into all the other problems that we are likely to face, but I am looking for any advice from people whom are either in the same situation, or have an understanding of the situation.
You may be thinking to yourself, "he really should sort this out with his wife!". Well, we talk about this all the time. Unfortunately I don't know the answers to a lot of the problems and I'm a bit scared about what might be down the track for us even though we have so much else in common and are happily married.
Ben.
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Be honest with your children if you want them to respect you when they get older. You can tell them "I don't think so but your mother does." and any further questions to you about God they may direct at you ccan be referred to their mother since she believes in God. If you change your mind later in life, don't be afraid to ask them questions lol and don't be afraid to explain your own beliefs just because they are different than hers.
Let your wife give your children their religious education and take them to church if she wants to, they are her kids too and when they are older they are going to make their own judgements anyway so no matter what you do in the way of bringing them up, they are going to be exposed to both sides of the coin just by living around a variety of people with a variety of ideas and will gradually develop their own beliefs that may or may not reflect those of you and your wife.
I would definitely not recommend a Christian school though because unless both parents are Christians your children are going to be exposed to unnecessary negativity and/or stress over your non-belief.
If you honestly believe that your wife is going to feel less and less close to you as she gets more and more involved in Christianity, you can almost be certain that you will (subconsciously) give her every reason to. If you can stop fearing her belief being so different than yours and she can accept her religion without bias to people who refuse to conform to it then the two of you should be able to continue on with your happily married life.
My grandmother was an active Christian, she even played the piano and organ in the Baptist church she attended. My step-grandfather, on the other hand was athiest through and through, right up to the day he died. They were married for over thirty years and are buried next to each other. The five children they raised together all have their own beliefs...Christianity (2 Catholics and 1 Baptist), Athiesm, and Total Hypocrisy.
Good Luck.