I believe the honor goes to JJ - but thank you!
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A rather posh lady is showing her small daughter around Rome in the back of a taxi. They pass a railway station and the daughter asks: "Mommy, what are all those ladies doing standing around in very short dresses?".
The mother realizes that she is referring to the prostitute day shift, but doesn't want to explain, so she says, "I expect they are waiting for their friends, or looking at the Roman architecture, dear".
The taxi driver flips back the partition and says: "Go on. Tell her they're prostitutes!".
"Mommy what are 'prostitutes'?"
With a sigh, Mother tells all.
The little girl is very interested:
"But mommy, don't they sometimes have babies?".
"Well yes dear, I'm afraid they do."
"But mommy, what happens to the babies?".
"Well dear, that's the interesting thing about it. Almost all of them become taxi-drivers".
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Top 10 Reasons Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen
This was found in Feb. 2000 issue of The Farmer-Stockman
10. They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, breakdown or run out of gas.
9. Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.
8. It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains,syringes, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.
7. It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision.
6. The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean.
5. They're too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc.
4. The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you're being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren't cracked and covered with duct tape.
3. Top speed is only about 45 mph.
2. Who wants a truck that needs a year's worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in body work, tail-lights and windshield.
1. It is hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.
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When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write: 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times!!"
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A police car pulled me over near the high school where I teach. As the officer asked for my license and registration, my students began to drive past. Some honked their horns, others hooted, and still others stopped to admonish me for speeding.
Finally the officer asked me if I was a teacher at the school, and I told him I was.
"I think you've paid your debt to society," he said with a smile, and left without giving me a ticket.
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Driving to town this morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that dumb makeup!!!
It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my other ear which fell into the coffee between my legs and disconnected an important call!
WOMEN DRIVERS!