[The Hunter of Jahanna]

I think the problem is that in a marrage everyone wants to be the chief and no one wants to be the indian. In my marrage I am the indian in a sort of speaking. My wife doesnt walk all over me , but I dont challenge her about every little thing either. For example if we are going out to eat or see a movie when she asks me where I want to go my usual answer is "Where ever you want to go is fine with me".I answer that way because I realy dont mind where ever she wants to go because movies and going out arent realy my thing , but she enjoys them so I go with her. I have married friends who when asked the same question by their spouse turn it into a 20 minute discussion and eventualy fight about it. My wife and I have yet to have a single fight in the year and a half we have been together. I think this is because both of us see the bigger picture.If something isnt going to matter in an hour then why fight over it?? It also helps that unless it is something I truly hate, like going to a water park filled with unruly children, I am up for doing anything as is she. There isnt realy any comprimise as much as there is mutual agreement that unless one of us hates to do it , or we cant afford it ,anything goes.As far as fidelity and things of that nature go, neither of us has time for anyone else except each other if you get my meaning.

Also , I think people spend too much time looking for the right one and not enough time finding the right one. I see friends that will split up with someone as soon as they do something even slightly annoying.They never realy take the time to get to know someone.They treat a relationship like a job. THey will spend all day, every day with someone and not know anything about them, kind of like they are just co workers and not lovers.IMHO things like that are just a collosal waste of time and resources.

[ 09-20-2002, 01:49 PM: Message edited by: The Hunter of Jahanna ]