Right now I feel it is my obligation to remind you guys of some of the negative, depressing, dangerous, life threatening things that the real world is all about. Things you’ve probably not been thinking about while posting on the IW, but will be waiting for you as soon as you go out there into the horrible real world.
Quicksand
Body lice
Evil spirits
Gridlock
Acid Rain
Continental drift
Labour violence
Flash floods
Rabies
Torture
Bad luck
Calcium deficiency
Falling rocks
Cattle stampedes
Bank failure
Evil neighbours
Killer bees
Organ rejection
Lynching
Toxic waste
Unstable dynamites
Religious fanatics
Price fixing
Moral decay
Hotel fires
Loss of face
Stink bombs
Neo-nazis
Fictions
Serial Killers
Failure of will
Anal rape
Chain reactions
Soil erosion
Mail fraud
Dry Rot
Voodoo curses
Broken glass
Snakebites
Parasites
White Slavery
Public ridicule
Faithless friends
Random violence
Breach of contract
Family scandals
Charlatans
Transverse
Structural defects
Race riots
Sunspots
Rogue elephants
Wax build up
Killer frost
Jealous co-workers
Root canals
Metal fatigue
Corporal punishment
Sneak attacks
Peer pressure
Vigilantes
Birth defects
False advertising
Ungrateful children
Financial ruin
Mildew
Loss of privileges
Bad drugs
Ill fitting shoes
Widespread chaos
Lou Gherigs disease
Stray bullets
Runaway trains
Chemical spills
Locusts
Airline food
Shipwrecks
Prowlers
Bathtub accidents
Faulty merchandise
Terrorism
Discrimination
Wrongful cremation
Carbon deposits
Beef tape worm
Taxation without representation
Escaped maniacs
Sunburn
Abandonment
Threatening letters
Entropy
Nine-mile fever
Poor workmanship
Solitary confinement
Deplicincy of the ozone layer
Unworthiness
Intestinal bleeding
Defunct priests
Loss of equilibrium
Disgruntled employees
Global warming
Cord Shocks
Poisoned meat
Nuclear accidents
Broken promises
Contamination of the water supply
Obscene phone calls
Nuclear winter
Waivered girls
Mutual assure destruction
Rampaging moose
The greenhouse effect
Cluster headaches
Social isolation
Dutch Elm disease
Contraction of the universe
Paper cuts
Eternal damnation
Wrath of God
AND PARANOIAAAAA!!!
(With regards to George Carlin) [img]smile.gif[/img]
[ 09-19-2002, 04:12 AM: Message edited by: Jorath Calar ]