Quote:
Originally posted by Evil Al:
Thanks Moni, you're right. The hardest part is I love my dad even though he seems to not like me. That's the main thing that I pray for, I pray that I show people love, just by being there. Theirs the odd occasion that I've thought about saying "I love you, dad" when he's getting on at me. But a part is telling me not to, it'll just give him something else to pick on.
I remember only having one heart to heart with my dad, we were talking about my grandfather (his dad), who sadly passed away when he was 13. I was quite young at the time, so I don't remember it very well, but I do remember him saying, "Don't get too fond of people, boy. We live, and live to die."
I wish I could mention it to him again, but he's not one of those people who are open about their feelings. Where as I think sharing them helps.
I'm glad that you got away and found out that you are a good person. I'll pray that you stay that way forever. *hugs*
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It took me many years to be able to tell my mother that I love her
and mean it at the same time. Before I meant it, she took it with a grain of salt, but now it only pisses her off and gets her ranting about how I
don't. (?) I have yet to understand where she is coming from on that one, unless she wants me to hate her because then, "she wins" (I call her Satan's Advisor because Satan himself can't come up with really good ways to hurt people like my mom can *wink* )
You can only give it a try, just go into it knowing it could either calm things down or make them explode. If something is telling you not to, listen to it...it could just make the situation worse.
The last time I told my mom I love her to her face she went off on me so bad that I told her (as I was shutting her car door really hard for her) to go ahead and leave, to take her hate and get the f*ck away from my house with it because I was tired of being exposed to it and really didn't need to keep trying anymore. It didn't feel good after she left, knowing she had the power to make me treat her so bad because she can't believe I love her and wants to put her own reasons for hating me
on me as reasons why I don't (I scared the crap out of her, I could see it in her eyes). I apologized but she never did (she doesn't owe me anything, esp an apology for being cruel).
She'll never like me no matter what I ever do, say, or accomplish...that is something that I have to live with (and sometimes it leaves me feeling like there's something missing in my life to be honest). I pray for your sake and your dad's that things between the two of you can someday be different, but if it never can, try to accept it as God's will...not everyone has the same place in Heaven that you do, you know? Believe me, I know it is small consolation for all the love you have for him in your heart, but there are things that are out of our hands; we can only trust them to God's (and who better to trust, eh?)
You showed
me a lot of love in just your first post, so do know your prayers are being answered. [img]smile.gif[/img]
Thank you too for your prayers for me. I doubt I could ever hate anyone or anything again (well, except peas lol) but it is good to know there is an extra word out there to back me up in case I start to falter. Thanks. [img]smile.gif[/img]
My dad was like yours when it came to talking...its a generational thing and something you can't change. Accept him for who he is and when he wants to get involved in a good heart to heart, take advantage of it and let him know you love him for it (or at least tell him that you appreciate him taking the time to talk like that with you). It will make the next heart to heart a lot easier to approach from both sides. [img]smile.gif[/img]
Take care of yourself inside and out, Evil Al...know that you are loved by many who don't even know you and that you have many angels watching over you. I'll keep you & your dad in my prayers.
Hugs & God Bless,