|
Very good story Jerome! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]
I enjoyed it very much!
There was only one thing, if I could make a suggestement..
Instead of "You're beautiful in the mornings," he said to her, wrapping his naked body around hers, and wrapping the bed's coverings around them."
I would write it; "You're beatiful in the mornings", he said to her, and wrapped his naked body around hers, along with the bed's covering"
Just a minor thing, but other than that I thought it was very good!
__________________
Take a look at your Promised Land<br />Your deed is that gun in your hand
|