[Harkoliar]

>NIGHTMARE #1
>
>After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled
>out a
>cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find
>it, he
>asked the girl if she had one at hand.
>
>"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
>
>He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches
>sitting
>neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy
>began to
>worry.
>
>"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
>
>"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
>
>"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
>
>"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
>
>"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
>
>Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
>
>
>NIGHTMARE #2
>
>The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
>think of a
>way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his wife
>asleep in
>bed. He thought to himself, "What should I do? Oh, I know." He
>proceeded to get
>under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently
>squirm and
>moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as
>she
>climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush
>his teeth.
>When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving
>her legs.
>
>He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?"
>
>She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother."
>
>
>NIGHTMARE #3
>
>One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss
>each other
>goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny.
>With an air
>of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he
>says to
>her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?"
>
>Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
>
>"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her.
>
>"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
>
>"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
>
>"No way. It's just too risky!"
>
>"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
>
>"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
>
>"Oh yes you can. Please?"
>
>"No, no. I just can't"
>
>"I'm begging you..."
>
>Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister
>shows up
>in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad
>says to go
>ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says
>she can
>come down herself and do it. But for God's sake tell him to take his
>hand off
>the intercom!"