[Horatio]

The orifice in my face where my tongue and teeth spend their day. It has made you laugh, swear at my appaling use of grammar, and weep at my insolence of the outside world. Well, today it messed up again.
I have been with my girlfriend for a year. It's been fine. We've had some good times. But recently...well, it hasn't been so great. So, I sit her down for coffee at a cafe. I look in to her eyes, explain my feelings. Then I utter 4 terrible words.
"I'm not having fun"
Why? Oh god, the look of absolute dispair in her eyes! I am an evil, evil person! It had been going fine up til then, with us both understanding. She ups and leaves, tears in her beutiful, innocent face. God, I feel awful.