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Old 06-19-2002, 11:30 AM   #14
Donut
Jack Burton
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Airstrip One
Age: 41
Posts: 5,571
Get a proper plumber in Davros - not one of those cowboys. When my hot water stopped working I called in a handyman (we'll call him Lasnera - it's not his real name). He came along with his two assistants (we'll call them CiderCoat and CiderCoat's brother the electrician). There was the usual intake of breath as he looked at the system. "What you need is a new element. We'll have to look inside the tank but to do that I'll need to buy one of them turbo charged spanner thingies which can only be used on hot water tanks and you have to pay for it but I'll keep it in my tool box afterwards"

Lasnera: We'll have to empty the water out of the system before we open the hot water tank. Where's your water tank?

Me:Err, I don't think I've got one.

Lasnera: "You must have, everyone's got one. Let's turn all of the taps on and drain the system."

Me: (30 minutes later) "The water is still running, I don't think I've got a water tank."

Lasnera: "Okay I'll open the top of your hot water tank anyway" (Has anyone guessed what's going to happen yet?)

He struggles with the huge nut on the top of the tank and it finally gives way. Of course the water in the tank has been taken directly from the mains and is under pressure. The water gushes out of the top of the tank - gallons and gallons of it nearly drowning poor Lanesra.

Lasnera: (to CiderCoat and CiderCoat's Brother) F***, help, don't just f******* laugh, oh God! Turn all the f****** taps on, don't just f****** stand there, get towels, oh shit, all the water's going through the floor (I live on the top floor of my block), turn the water off at the stop cock!

Me: Where is it?

Lasnera: I don't know f****** know it's your house!

Me: I think it's this one but it won't turn.

Lasnera: Don't you ever do any maintenance in this house?

Me: It's okay I've done it.

Lasnera: Of course, the water had to be under pressure, I should have guessed that!

Cheers Lasnera. This beats the time you shorted out all of my electricty on the day I moved in and the time you put the new lights in the living room and for two years after, every time I closed the door to the room I got showered in sawdust from the light fitting!

Mind you - you are cheap!

[ 06-19-2002, 11:35 AM: Message edited by: Donut ]
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