[Barry the Sprout]

A mock piece of writing from John Pilger I found. Very funny, and sorry to all my anti war friends but this is quite good. Saw this and thought of Yorick...


And I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!
I was reading a chilling bedtime story to the children. Like me, they had been shocked by the fascist-imperialist territorial claims by the 3-Not-So-Very-Little Pigs on the impoverished wolfs home. And like me, they could see through the evasions and lies to the truth of the merciless persecution of the wolf community over the past fifty years.
"Again and Again, ceaselessly and without remorse,". I interupted the story to explain: "The West has attempted to blacken the name of the wolf community through fairy tales aimed at targetting the young.".
"But the public is not so easily fooled. Wolves have been killed in their beds, had their heads chopped off by CIA agents posing as woodcutters, and brutally destroyed through mass genocide on the say so of the Bush family and its handmaiden Blair. According to one estimate, over ten million wolves have been slaughtered in a blood bath to which our multinational dominated media is only too keen to turn a blind eye. Imagine it; ten million wolves. Baby wolf. Mummy wolf. Auntie wolf. All silently murdered in a pitiless array of so-called fairy tales.".
I then paused, wiped away my tears, and looked deep into the childrens eyes.
"No Paul McCartney concert for them". I choked, thats the truth they never tell us.

I did not kiss them goodnight. I couldn't. My god, can't you see, this is no time for goodnight kisses. Also, i would have been physically incapable of delivering a kiss to their cheeks. Ever since the start of the murderous campaign by Anglo-American imperial forces following the unfortunate collapse of the World Trade and Arms dealing Centre (the true story of its faulty brickwork has yet to be told: what they don't tell us is that it would have fallen down anyway - and that, let me assure, you is a matter of record) I have been wearing a burqa. This is in solidarity with the literally millions of middle eastern women who are being forced to live under the heel of the Bush-Blair mass murdering axis.
As the world renowned Professor David V Spart of the University of Oxbridge makes horribly clear in his recent ground breaking article in the New Left Reveiw of Semiotic Studies in Neo Fascist Imperialism, not until the "liberals" and the other crypto-fascist lickspittles of the Murdoch owned Western media conglomerates are forced to put on their burqas will they be able to comprehend the devestating record of Western oppresion of the wak and the hungry. I have thus decided that all children entering the Pilger household will hencedforth wear burqas. So to will our hamster - an Iraqi refugee from the Western oppression that is decimating his or her country - and our four goldfish, who, contrary to Western propoganda, actually enjoy wearing their burqas, as they allow them at last to have a good rest, away from prying eyes, lying completely still at the bottom of their bowls, peaceful at last.

FACT: According to one estimate, a recent poll suggests that up to 96.4% of ordinary decent Britons are against the Anglo American invasion of Afghanistan. Asked "Do you approve of the way the Dictator Blair is covertly splattering Afghani mothers with the blood of their new born babies before slitting the throats of their midwives?", up to 99% repied with a whole hearted "No". That is the truth our so-called "government" never tells us.


That is about half of it, but I am starting to get tired of typing. I might add the rest in later if I get time.