[Aerich]

I think much of the problem is in perception. Most of the (admittedly few) gays I know aren't pushing for "marriage" per se. They wanted equality before the law and "marriage-like" rights; things relating to pensions, loans, adoption, etc. They have those rights in many places now. In BC, the province allows for civil unions that are, to the best of my knowledge, legally indistinguishable from marriage - just like common-law marriage.

Getting back to the perception - the problem is on both sides. The militant gay rights groups perceive anyone against the gay marriage idea as anti-gay, although the person in question may fully support civil unions. They also find it hard to trust someone's commitment to equal rights when he contemplates a constitutional amendment and actually tries to pass it. The fear is that he and others are hiding anti-gay sentiments behind the facade of protecting the definition and institution of marriage. That fear is often misplaced.

On the other side, the most vocal groups tend to be the fringe, radical elements of gay rights groups. Some people perceive that they are trying to force themselves into the public mindset and dictate all types of policy (which can be true); that's threatening, because the fringe often does not have a realistic view of the world. IMO, the vocal radicals only represent a small minority of gays. They don't do themselves or their cause any good by labelling so many people as anti-equality homophobes. It turns off people who would otherwise support or tolerate their position and cause - not only liberals, but many conservatives.

[ 08-25-2004, 06:58 PM: Message edited by: Aerich ]