Quote:
Originally posted by Magness:
I disagree. I do think that my politics has EVERYTHING to do with it. Sure, my language can get coarse from time to time. Sometimes it's intentional. Sometimes it's simply an accident. Not all boards have the same standards and switching back and forth can make it easy to forget the differing standards.
(Aerich, this reply is going to end up seeming a bit disjointed and confusing at this point. I'm not writing it entirely in sequence. Sorry.)
Below, I discuss how people from different places interact differently. People from New England have a reputation for being very direct and up front, which is often taken by people from regions know for being more laid back, as being "aggressive" and "in your face". And in return, up front New Englanders often end up finding overly laid back people terribly annoying for not being able to get to the point, etc, etc.
What I see as directness truly IS directness. You see it as rude, perhaps because that's what your environment tells you. But my environment is the reverse. We see a lack of directness as a negative, as a lack of assertiveness.
Simply speaking ... You see me as rude. I see you as a wuss. (No insults meant here. Really, really, really.) I don't see myself as really being rude. And you probably don't see yourself as being a wuss. Our environments make us who we are. It's just rather annoying being put down for simply being exactly who I am, an up front, direct, and to the point New Englander.
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Just to reassure you Magness, that as far as I and the rest of the mods are concerned, your politics will NOT influence how you are treated here. We're more interested in how someone delivers their views, than their view itself. You will get a fair go as long as you respect others and extend courtesy to them (which you did with Aerich, taking the time to respond in detail, which I appreciated). There will always be some level of compromise in terms of how we all interact with each other, as you say everyone's different. Some people get offended easily, others have thick skins. I myself am a very laid back person, but I'm an OZ and so call a spade a spade and can be very direct and up-front with people, and I appreciate it when people are the same with me - I've got the thickest skin you'll ever see
. But I've got to compromise with some of the people I have to deal with here, doesn't mean that I'm not who I am, but that I try and adjust to accommodate certain personality types. And the clarity you've provided to explain your perspective helps greatly - online we're reading words on a screen and in the absence of body language it's difficult to get a "read" of where someone's really at. Amazing thing, body language - there aren't enough smilies in the world to exactly reproduce body language and empathy through visual cues, eh.
There's nothing wrong with being direct and blunt, as long as you make it clear to the other bloke that you're not baiting them or deliberately trying to piss them off, and as long as your bluntness doesn't offend others, and doesn't contravene the common standard of behaviour we have here. We're all here to share views and learn from each other.
Cheers mate. Now enough about you - I think we've sorted all the issues out? Let's get back on topic, eh.
[ 08-13-2004, 04:27 AM: Message edited by: Memnoch ]