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Mr. Mopery · 08-16-2003, 04:36 AM

The flip-side: an American experience in Canada.

Flying into Vancouver last summer, I was almost probed by the most anal (pardon the pun) customs guy I've ever come across. He was such a ba$tard.

Yes, I looked terrible. (flying Tokyo-Chicago-Vancouver in 2 days does that)

No, I didn't have an "onward ticket." I fly non-revenue half the time.

No, I didn't have my friend's address and phone # ready for inspection. I needed to get on the net, quickly, to get them.

When this guy told me I was an "immigration threat", because I seemed dodgy, I laughed at him. Which pissed him off. All I could think was "if all Canadians are as friendly as this guy, I'm getting on the next plane to NYC."

He took my wallet and pulled everything out--he even inspected the condom! He asked me how much money I earned a year, how much my flat cost etc. I politely told him that I wasn't sure of the exact figures (the flat was provided by work) and that I wasn't comfortable discussing them with a stranger anyway.

Then he made a triumphant discovery: a plastic ziplock in my backpack which was half full of laundry detergent. You could almost see his eagerness when pulled it (and one sock) out of my bag.

"What's this?"

"Laundry powder."

"Really. What happens if I test this and it's not laundry powder?"

"Then I'll finally know why my whites aren't very white."

Conclusion: Canada's cool; Customs people suck.

08-16-2003, 04:36 AM	#35
Mr. Mopery Zhentarim Guard Join Date: December 13, 2001 Location: Warsaw Age: 49 Posts: 328	The flip-side: an American experience in Canada. Flying into Vancouver last summer, I was almost probed by the most anal (pardon the pun) customs guy I've ever come across. He was such a ba$tard. Yes, I looked terrible. (flying Tokyo-Chicago-Vancouver in 2 days does that) No, I didn't have an "onward ticket." I fly non-revenue half the time. No, I didn't have my friend's address and phone # ready for inspection. I needed to get on the net, quickly, to get them. When this guy told me I was an "immigration threat", because I seemed dodgy, I laughed at him. Which pissed him off. All I could think was "if all Canadians are as friendly as this guy, I'm getting on the next plane to NYC." He took my wallet and pulled everything out--he even inspected the condom! He asked me how much money I earned a year, how much my flat cost etc. I politely told him that I wasn't sure of the exact figures (the flat was provided by work) and that I wasn't comfortable discussing them with a stranger anyway. Then he made a triumphant discovery: a plastic ziplock in my backpack which was half full of laundry detergent. You could almost see his eagerness when pulled it (and one sock) out of my bag. "What's this?" "Laundry powder." "Really. What happens if I test this and it's not laundry powder?" "Then I'll finally know why my whites aren't very white." Conclusion: Canada's cool; Customs people suck. __________________ Never argue with a woman who\'s holding your schmeckle...