[Cerek the Barbaric]

Originally posted by Skunk: Question: Why are the kids resorting to tearing up the house to get a bit of attention from their parents? Poor souls - seems to me that they prefer getting beaten to being left alone in front of the TV. Guess that I can't blame 'em for their 'bad' behaviour. As for where you draw the line, - you draw the line every time that they do something wrong. I've never assaulted my child; never needed to. But then maybe my wife and I take the time to point out the *why* something is wrong or point out how they would feel if 'X' was done to them. Teach the kids the social rules, teach the kids the rules that society requires you to live by. Explain everything - don't just say 'do this, do that' - give reasons. At an early age, explanations for 'why X is not allowed' are accepted, and kids generally don't do 'X' again - and if they do, then 'sanctions' like making them sit in the hallway/bedroom for an hour are enough to reinforce the message. By the time the child reaches the age where those sanctions wouldn't normally work, it doesn't matter: because by then, most kids won't need the sanctions - because they'll be doing the right thing all by themselves. The only thing a good smack teaches a child is: "Don't get caught" SMACKING IS THE TOOL OF THE LAZY PARENT.

Well, Skunk, you're entitled to your opinion. Just as I am entitled to the opinion that your posts in this thread have been some of the most sactimonious and condescending I've ever seen here.

You go on and on about how the children of parents who spank are only misbehaving because the parents aren't spending any time with them and the children are being ignored.

So what is your solution to a misdeed by your child? Stick them in their room or hallway by themselves for up to an hour OR "remove almost every privilege that makes life worth living" for as long as 4 weeks!!!!

We both punish our children how we see fit. The only difference is that I sometimes choose physical punishment while you consistently choose to use emotional punishment.

When one of my children misbehave, they may or may not get a spanking (depending on what they did). But for the sake of argument, we'll say that I smack them on the butt for whatever they did. Yes, they get upset and cry and go stomping off to their room, but guess what....30 minutes later they are over it. I've gone into their room to discuss WHY they were spanked (it is always because they broke a rule they knew they shouldn't), told them I expect them to behave differently and given them a hug.

Meanwhile, 30 minutes after your child has misbehaved, they are only halfway through their punishment.

At least with the physical punishment, it is over and done with and the child and parent can move on. The emotional punishment takes a lot longer to impose and (IMHO) can have JUST as many detrimental side-effects (if not more) as physical punishment.