[Skunk]

And did you read my previous post ? About the "kankerlijer" issue ? I know you're British, but since you live in Amsterdam, i'm sure that word sounds familiar to you. What would your reaction be if your son called your wife that ?

Well, I already told you about 2nd borne who was too young to understand what 'bad' words really mean and how offensive they were. First borne (on the other hand) knows only too well - and such an utterance would cause the loss of just about every privilege that makes life bearable (probably for about 4 weeks) - and I'd still expect a genuine apology after the punishment period ends. But that has never happened - she learned the rules at an early age long before she knew what such words meant.

As for whining - I always considered that an offense that required punishment - rather than ignoring it. The risk otherwise is an escalation. Give your explanation, give a warning with the threat of sanctions and if the whining doesn't stop, enact the punishment.

Then one day, I got mad about something and utter that word in my anger and my daughter overheard me. She came to be and say, "Daddy, you are using the bad word!" She then proceed to slap me in the mouth and before I get the chance to apologize to her, she ran to the kitchen and told my wife what I did. I don't know about you, but I think the light slap on her mouth actually taught her a valuable lesson. (and me too, as I am a little more cautious nowadays about what I speak when she is around me).

Exactly what I meant when I said that consistency is important - everyone has to follow the same rules and it's important to ensure that other 'carers' like grandparents keep to the *parents'* rules too.