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I'm sorry Skunk, but that's the biggest load of crap i've ever heard. Like i said, some kids are real little devils,and if you let them they destroy your house (i've seen it happen), and disrespect the parents even more in the future when no action is being taken. A thwack in the bottocks isn't the same thing as beating a kid up, and it sure has it's effect. You have to draw the line somewhere. If you don't draw a line, then you're REALLY a bad parent, and the kid COULD grow up into a very unpleasant character to be around with.
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Question: Why are the kids resorting to tearing up the house to get a bit of attention from their parents? Poor souls - seems to me that they prefer getting beaten to being left alone in front of the TV. Guess that I can't blame 'em for their 'bad' behaviour.
As for where you draw the line, - you draw the line every time that they do something wrong. I've never assaulted my child; never needed to. But then maybe my wife and I take the time to point out the *why* something is wrong or point out how they would feel if 'X' was done to them. Teach the kids the social rules, teach the kids the rules that society requires you to live by. Explain everything - don't just say 'do this, do that' - give reasons.
At an early age, explanations for 'why X is not allowed' are accepted, and kids generally don't do 'X' again - and if they do, then 'sanctions' like making them sit in the hallway/bedroom for an hour are enough to reinforce the message.
By the time the child reaches the age where those sanctions wouldn't normally work, it doesn't matter: because by then, most kids won't need the sanctions - because they'll be doing the right thing all by themselves.
The only thing a good smack teaches a child is:
"Don't get caught"
SMACKING IS THE TOOL OF THE LAZY PARENT.
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I'd like to see your reaction when your seven year old son comes home from school, and calls his mother "kankerlijer" when she tells him not to throw stuff through the house. I'm not sure how to translate that word into English, but take it from me, it's BAD, really really bad.
It happened to a friend of mine, and i was there when it happened. Apparently he picked that up in the school's playground, and decided it might be useful whenever he was being told not to do this or that around the house. My mouth fell wide open when i heard him say that, and so did my fiend's and his wife's.
But only for a brief moment, and then he slapped him a couple of times and told him it would be worse if he ever heard him say that word again. I don't think ANY parent can keep his/her cool when your kid calls you names like that, and imo there's only one way to teach him not do say that ever again.
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Funnily enough when my child was five she once used a 'bad' word that she picked up from school. There was a supply teacher in one day and when I asked my daughter what she was like, she said that she was a 'kut' juffie.
Sorry no explanations to the non-Dutch but, again, it's not a phrase that you would associate with a five year old. I simply sat my child down, explained that it was a 'bad' word and that people would be angry and upset if they heard that word - and guess what? She has never said that word again.
By the way Johnnie, did you hear the news? Some of the Dutch troops in Iraq have been posted to the town of Kut! Imagine coming home and being asked where you served: "I served in K...K... Bagdad!"
[ 08-10-2003, 03:57 PM: Message edited by: Skunk ]