Ironworks Gaming Forum - View Single Post - thats why you should not be playing AD&D with these people

TheThing · 05-17-2002, 11:20 PM

the following group joint together in the chase of Jon Irenicus in the DM's house: girlfriend (always the first), little sister, whinnie and munchikin

DM: ok, so Jon Irenicus, the treachrous evil wizard, stole your essence. You are trapped in his vampire sister's dungeon. what do you do now?

Whinnie: ok, are we gonna die?

little sister: what is vampire?

DM: oh, it is a creature that sucks your blood.

little sister: cooool, can I be a vampire?

DM: no

munchikin: can I?

little sister: pretty pleeeease?

whinne: is it just me or I got a feeling that we are gonna die?!

DM: no, you are not gonna die

little sister: so I can be a vampire now? thanks Johnnie, *smooch*

munchkin: thank you! *sm...

DM: get away from me, you CANNOT be a vampire.

little sister: why not? *sad face* MOM! Johnnie called me a dickhead!

MOM: JOHN?! don't call you sister that!

DM: gosh, MOM, I DID NOT!

DAD sticks his head in: don't talk back! hey, what you guys doing? did I say no gamble here?

whinnie: ok, are we gonna die?

girlfriend got restless: come john, just let your sister have her way and get moving!

DM: ok, sure. now you are a vampire, sis.

Munchkin: what about me?

DM: f--- you

Munchkin: fine, I jump in my SUV and start chasing Irenicus

DM: you don't have a SUV

Munchkin: yes I do

DM: no you don't

Munchkin: sure I do

DM: sure you don't

Munchkin: do too!

DM: do not!

Munchkin: why not?

DM: this is freaking forgotten realm, you DO NOT have a god damn SUV here, alright? you have a horse

Munchkin: ok, we all got on the horse, arrive at a bar. I throw the key to the waiter boy and said "park my SUV"

girlfriend: a bar? woo--hoooo, we go in and have a good time

DM: $%^& you don't have a SUV!

Munchkin: sure I do, I just parked it

DM: no you don't!

Munchkin: I just parked it!

DM: you know what, you suck. a bolt of lighting struck down from sky, and burnt your SUV. like that?

Munchkin: .... (turn to little sister) he just destroyed my SUV

little sister: (with a new sudden respect to DM's power, said fearfully) I know... (whisper) he is a meanie

DM: hey, I heard that!

whinnie: how come I think we are going to die?

(later, in battle)

Munchkin: I threw a 20, and hits the orc-fighter's head, my two handed sword of never miss penatrate his helmet, and cracked his skull.

DM: no, you just threw a 5, and with yout pathetically practiced aim (aka, thac0), you missed, left yourself wide open. (roll) you take 15 dmg

whinnie: (look up in horror) oh my god, you are gonna die!

little sister: whats thac0?

DM (explains thac0)

little sister: the lower the better?

DM: yes

little sister: can I have -20 thac0?

Munchkin: what? I cannot miss! my sword is called sword of never miss (which can be wielded in one hand, by the way, cool huh?) how can I miss? thats why it is called NEVER MISS

DM: well, you just missed. I guess it needs to change its name now

Munchkin: this sucks, whats my thac0?

DM: 21

Munchkin: huh? it is NOT

DM: yes it is, you haven't rested for two days, and you are fatigued from the encounter with Jon Irenicus. your thac0 is 21

little sister: you just said from 0 to 20! you liar!

DM (inhale)

girlfriend: ahhh, that orc archer hits me

DM (roll, and check secret table): his arrow stuck in your face, heh, that gonna leave a scar. you faint from the pain

girlfriend (looks up dangerously): do you want to do it tonight?

DM: ... ok, a holy bolt drop on you, all your wounds are healed, you stand up with refreshed energy and two new levels

everyone else: nooo, thats not fair!

whinnie: this game sucks

DM: no it doesn't

Munchkin: yes, I do have a SUV

DM: oh shut up.

Munchkin: I want my suv, I want my suv, I want my suv!

DM grab munchkin's character sheet and tear it up & threw it in the trash can: there, still want your SUV?

(silence)

little sister: it is mine

DM: what?

little sister: it is mine, the character sheet...

DM: oh gosh, I am sorry

Munchkin: no, it is mine

DM: what the ■■■■, whose is it? let me see

Munchkin: no, the trash can is mine

DM: no it is mine.

Munchkin: sure is mine, its got my character in it

DM: your character is DEAD! plus, it was my little sis' character

Munchkin: still it is mine

DM: shut the ■■■■ up

whinnie: ok, we are all gonna die now.

[ 05-17-2002, 11:20 PM: Message edited by: TheThing ]

05-17-2002, 11:20 PM	#1
TheThing Banned User Join Date: March 17, 2002 Location: shadow Posts: 246	the following group joint together in the chase of Jon Irenicus in the DM's house: girlfriend (always the first), little sister, whinnie and munchikin DM: ok, so Jon Irenicus, the treachrous evil wizard, stole your essence. You are trapped in his vampire sister's dungeon. what do you do now? Whinnie: ok, are we gonna die? little sister: what is vampire? DM: oh, it is a creature that sucks your blood. little sister: cooool, can I be a vampire? DM: no munchikin: can I? little sister: pretty pleeeease? whinne: is it just me or I got a feeling that we are gonna die?! DM: no, you are not gonna die little sister: so I can be a vampire now? thanks Johnnie, smooch munchkin: thank you! sm... DM: get away from me, you CANNOT be a vampire. little sister: why not? sad face* MOM! Johnnie called me a dickhead! MOM: JOHN?! don't call you sister that! DM: gosh, MOM, I DID NOT! DAD sticks his head in: don't talk back! hey, what you guys doing? did I say no gamble here? whinnie: ok, are we gonna die? girlfriend got restless: come john, just let your sister have her way and get moving! DM: ok, sure. now you are a vampire, sis. Munchkin: what about me? DM: f--- you Munchkin: fine, I jump in my SUV and start chasing Irenicus DM: you don't have a SUV Munchkin: yes I do DM: no you don't Munchkin: sure I do DM: sure you don't Munchkin: do too! DM: do not! Munchkin: why not? DM: this is freaking forgotten realm, you DO NOT have a god damn SUV here, alright? you have a horse Munchkin: ok, we all got on the horse, arrive at a bar. I throw the key to the waiter boy and said "park my SUV" girlfriend: a bar? woo--hoooo, we go in and have a good time DM: $%^& you don't have a SUV! Munchkin: sure I do, I just parked it DM: no you don't! Munchkin: I just parked it! DM: you know what, you suck. a bolt of lighting struck down from sky, and burnt your SUV. like that? Munchkin: .... (turn to little sister) he just destroyed my SUV little sister: (with a new sudden respect to DM's power, said fearfully) I know... (whisper) he is a meanie DM: hey, I heard that! whinnie: how come I think we are going to die? (later, in battle) Munchkin: I threw a 20, and hits the orc-fighter's head, my two handed sword of never miss penatrate his helmet, and cracked his skull. DM: no, you just threw a 5, and with yout pathetically practiced aim (aka, thac0), you missed, left yourself wide open. (roll) you take 15 dmg whinnie: (look up in horror) oh my god, you are gonna die! little sister: whats thac0? DM (explains thac0) little sister: the lower the better? DM: yes little sister: can I have -20 thac0? Munchkin: what? I cannot miss! my sword is called sword of never miss (which can be wielded in one hand, by the way, cool huh?) how can I miss? thats why it is called NEVER MISS DM: well, you just missed. I guess it needs to change its name now Munchkin: this sucks, whats my thac0? DM: 21 Munchkin: huh? it is NOT DM: yes it is, you haven't rested for two days, and you are fatigued from the encounter with Jon Irenicus. your thac0 is 21 little sister: you just said from 0 to 20! you liar! DM (inhale) girlfriend: ahhh, that orc archer hits me DM (roll, and check secret table): his arrow stuck in your face, heh, that gonna leave a scar. you faint from the pain girlfriend (looks up dangerously): do you want to do it tonight? DM: ... ok, a holy bolt drop on you, all your wounds are healed, you stand up with refreshed energy and two new levels everyone else: nooo, thats not fair! whinnie: this game sucks DM: no it doesn't Munchkin: yes, I do have a SUV DM: oh shut up. Munchkin: I want my suv, I want my suv, I want my suv! DM grab munchkin's character sheet and tear it up & threw it in the trash can: there, still want your SUV? (silence) little sister: it is mine DM: what? little sister: it is mine, the character sheet... DM: oh gosh, I am sorry Munchkin: no, it is mine DM: what the ■■■■, whose is it? let me see Munchkin: no, the trash can is mine DM: no it is mine. Munchkin: sure is mine, its got my character in it DM: your character is DEAD! plus, it was my little sis' character Munchkin: still it is mine DM: shut the ■■■■ up whinnie: ok, we are all gonna die now. [ 05-17-2002, 11:20 PM: Message edited by: TheThing ]