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Heh, Magik. I am no saint! And Yorick and my friends here who have known me for almost 2 years also know that I am probably among those here with about the lowest sense of self esteem. They think very highly of me, while I spend a great deal of time putting myself down if I let myself get on the subject. Just about the only area of my life in which they see me radiant and full of joy is when I talk about my children.
I spent a tremendous amount of time learning to examine myself, sorting my feelings and emotions and learning to place them properly within their proper circumstances and places. I never raise my voice to my children or discuss problems with them until I have sorted everything out in my own mind first. And when I have, I always realize that any anger that I feel, really is never genuinely toward them. I find my anger and frustration are ALWAYS with myself. It is my emotions and feelings that allow me to become angry, and it is due to my own imperfections and inability to remain calm and objective to see things clearly. So we wait before we talk about problems if I do get to feeling emotional. We will talk about and do other things until I know that I am ready to deal with the situation maturely and responsibly the way I know that I should, and the way that they deserve to be treated. And I am blessed that they love me as much as they do. I can say this. There mom is a smacker, and the comparison in the relationship that they have with each of us is startling.
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