|
Success
At age 5, success is not peeing your pants.
At age 16, success is being able to drive a car.
At age 20, success is having sex.
At age 30, success is having money.
At age 50, success is having money.
At age 60, success is having sex.
At age 70, success is being able to drive a car.
At age 80, success is not peeing your pants.
(note how it reverses!)
The 4 Stages of Life
1. You believe in Santa Clause.
2. You don't believe in Santa Clause.
3. You think like Santa Clause.
4. You look like Santa Clause.
Knitting
A police officer was driving around on his patrols, when he saw a blonde woman knitting while she was driving (no offence to blondes!!!!). He started going after her and he turned his sirens on. Then he yelled through his blow-horn "PULLOVER!". The blonde replied "NO IT'S A SCARF!".
Space Adventures!
An American, a Russian and a Blonde woman were having a discussion about space achievments. The Russian said "We were the first to make it into space!". The American said "Well, we were the first to land on the moon!". The blonde then said "Oh ya? WE will be the first to land on the sun!". The Russian said "You can't land on the sun! You'll burn up!". The blonde replied "We aren't stupid you know! We are going to do it at night!!!!" (no offence to blondes intended again)
[ 05-13-2002, 06:46 PM: Message edited by: Sir Goulum ]
|