[John D Harris]

All those who believe in telekinesis....raise my hand.

OK.....so what's the speed of dark?

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Hard work pays off in the future.....laziness pays off now.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

I intend to live forever.....so far, so good.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

24 hours in a day.....24 beers in a case....coincidence???

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Drugs may lead to nowhere.....but at least it's the scenic route.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists....they don't expect it back.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.